30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
Hubby: Absolute power corrupts absolutely, dear.
Wifey: It’s not absolute.
Hubby: It isn’t?
Wifey: No. You’re not bowing.
Cashier: Ooh, I like you.
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the girl with the hat
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can’t have small boobs. That’s like impossible. It’s, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
Girl#1: I mean, my parents have no money now. Dad lost it in his “snort” phase.
Girl#2: My mom had that phase, but now she’s just into the “prescription” phase.
Girl#3: That’s a great phase.
Banana Republic
Kitchener
Canada
Undergrad: The whole reason I like the book was, like, because Isaac Newton is so badass!
Friend: I thought he was, like, an asshole.
Undergrad: No!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: whatgoesup
Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn’t make you Mormon!
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: Autumn
Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Spanish prof: What’s the difference between a stone and a rock, English speakers?
Student #1: A stone is smooth and near water.
Student #2: A rock is big, like you can’t pick it up.
Spanish prof: Well, that would make sense. I mean, we stone people to death, we don’t rock them to death.
Cute girl student: It’s happened before.
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl has a little crush on her
Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there…
Bellevue, Washington
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s not cool, but I understand. He sounds very immature.
Girl #2: He is. It’s such a shame. I laid in bed last night reminiscing about the time I spent with him in bed. It’s like I can still feel it. Too bad he’s such an asshole, and too bad that good dick makes me so… not able to accept what a douchebag a guy really is.
Atlanta, Georgia
