If Chris Rock Had a Nickel for Every Time He’s Heard That…

Teen boy to other teen boy: You’d be racist if you weren’t so funny.

Leeds, England

Overheard by: Ashleigh

Posted on March 29, 2026
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Guys, Race, Teens, UK

For the Last Time, That’s Not What Lilliputians Are

Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver’s Travels.
[Pause.]Boy: There’d be kitten penises everywhere!

Warwick, England

Posted on March 27, 2026
Books, Compare and contrast, Girls, Guys, Penis, UK, Weirdness

But We Call Them “American Voters”

American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I’ve never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they’re albino… Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: … Those are sheep.

Bus, Southern England

Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian

Posted on March 26, 2026
Animals, Bus, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Friends, Geography, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Stupidity, Tourists, UK

No Good Ever Comes of Communication

Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on March 23, 2026
Beauty, Compare and contrast, Couples, Guys, Hair, Indiana, Insults, Malls, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Women, Words

Also Why She Refuses to Play Musical Chairs

Girl #1: Isn’t lap dancing anal sex?
Girl #2: Uhh, excuse me?
Girl #1: Well, if a girl sits on a guy’s lap and he gets an erection, it would go [points up] up the ass, right?

High School
Australia

Overheard by: NinjaPirates

Posted on March 22, 2026
Ass, Australia, Backdoor, Compare and contrast, Dancing, Erections, Girls, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

I Got Strung Up by My Ankles at an AC/DC Concert for That Mistake

English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don’t expect an answer to. When a band yells, “Are you ready to rock?”, they’re not actually expecting someone to yell back, “Not quite, give us a couple more minutes.”

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on March 17, 2026
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Tennessee, Words

The Professor Accused Me of Spreading It on Too Thick

Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 13, 2026
Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Food, Guys, Pennsylvania, Students

You Really Shouldn’t Discriminate Against People Who Try to Kill You

Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!

Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Ari

Posted on March 13, 2026
Class, Compare and contrast, Friends, Gender issues, Jews, Missouri, TV shows, Vagina, Violence, Weirdness

…Whom I’d Started Dating in Geometry

Boy #1, talking to friend in between classes: Hey what did you do in English?
Boy #2: Oh… I broke up with Jessica*.

Berryhill High School
Oklahoma

Overheard by: BlakeMas

Posted on March 12, 2026
Compare and contrast, Education, Guys, Oklahoma, Questions, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens

Kinda Misleading That His Name’s Mario, Though

Teen girl #1: Your dad could be a plumber because of his moustache.
Teen girl #2: My dad doesn’t have a moustache.
Teen girl #1: Well I wish he did.
Teen girl #2: Too bad, bitch!

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on March 12, 2026
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Girls, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Shaving, Teens, Wishes

Compare and contrast