Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html
Overheard by: Ian
Girl #1: I'm having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it's a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.
Seattle, Washington
Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.
Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: EEE
Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.
Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia
Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she's such a slut.
North Dakota State University
Overheard by: Chelsea
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I've never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!
Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/05/i-can-dig-it/
Overheard by: ed216
Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let's make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What's your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.
English School
Gifu
Japan
