Woman to coworker: You'd think if they were going to decapitate someone they wouldn't hide the evidence in their rear window.

West Lebanon, New Hampshire

Receptionist to executive assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on…by a taxi driver…who I dated.

Overheard by: Ian

Cashier #1: So, do you think Ms. Rachel is pregnant, like Missy said?
Cashier #2: No, Missy is always so full of it.
Cashier #1: Yeah, that’s what I thought. I mean, if Ms. Rachel was pregnant, she wouldn’t be messing around with pig’s blood still.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: In agreement, although disturbed

Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: jamjam

Male Wal-Mart employee to female coworker: Come on, what's your problem? (smiles at her)
Female coworker: I can't smile. I work here.

Overheard by: A. Lil

Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, “Bedbugs?!” It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: so, where are they?

Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.

Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: JD

Worker: My wife is pregnant!
Boss: Do you have a project plan for this?
Worker: Uh…
Boss: What’s the planned date of completion?
Worker: … May?
Boss: Hope you’ve done a risk analysis.

Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.

Northern Ireland

Chick: I got, like, suspended three times in five days.
Coworker: I only got suspended once, but that was just ’cause I cut this bitch with a razor.
Chick, to customer: Thank you, sir.

Dunwoody, Georgia

Overheard by: blur