Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.
Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Ebullient coworker on phone: The last thing I saw of Jane* was a nude picture of her taking a bath. It’s her dad’s fault.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/in_her_dads_defense_she_was_6.html
Overheard by: sxoidmal
Dish hand: Did you fuck it all up again, chef?
Chef: Sure did.
Dish hand: You do this every fucking shift.
Chef: Yeah, but my wife’s hot.
Dish hand: That is not a valid defense!
Adelaide
Australia
NASA intern guy #1: I think your fish are gay… Like, 99 percent sure. Look, they’ve got vertical bars.
NASA intern guy #2: They so want each other.
NASA intern guy #1: They do. And it’s not unrequited. Look, they both have vertical bars!
NASA Ames Research Center
Silicon Valley, California
Call center girl to coworker who just hung up: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325426424/at-least-he-gave-you-a-head-start.html
Overheard by: keep him away from my potato salad
Person #1: But isn’t that lying?
Person #2: Don’t worry about it, it’s only for your security clearance.
http://www.overheardquote.com/?p=47
Bingo number caller: I pick up lots of chicks, G-56. But when I don’t, I masturbate, B-8.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/saturdays-are-pretty-dope.html
Overheard by: bingo player
Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.
Library
Arizona State University
Bagger to cashier: There's something mildly strange about a package that contains breasts… from different chickens.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: They were thighs actually, but I see your point.
First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.
Portland, Maine
