College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.
Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Arthur
Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What's wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sorry?
Woman: Well, is something missing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” business??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it's fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)
Grocery Store
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Matt C
Loudmouthed breakfast patron: I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but what if you keep kosher and someone, like, brings a pig to your house? Like, what do you do with their pet pig?
Toast Two
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Paul
Macy's sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice… It's real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don't discriminate; I hate everybody.
Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Marriage without Words?
Saleslady: Sorry, it looks like we don't have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Taylor
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.
Las Vegas, Nevada
