Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?


Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ho Lexington III

Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.

Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Mallory

Customer: Excuse me, where is your non-fiction section?
Salesgirl: What type of non-fiction are you looking for?
Customer: Harry Potter.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Woman at counter: [Mumbling.]Clerk: No, we don’t carry weapons here.

Hallmark Store
St. Joseph, Michigan

Overheard by: but if you try the precious moments store…

Gay dressing room associate: Did you find everything alright today?
Attractive female shopper: Everything except a pair of pants.
Gay dressing room associate: We'll just have to find you a pair, then.
Attractive female shopper: No, that's alright. The pants here never fit me correctly.
Gay dressing room associate: Well, I'll see if I can't fit you in my pants.
Attractive female shopper: Wait… What?

Banana Republic
Marin, California

Sewing machine shop customer #1: How often should I get my machine serviced?
Sewing machine shop customer #2: Gosh, I've never had my machine serviced!
Sewing machine shop owner: You are not a lady!

Overheard by: Raptor

Loud black guy at pharmacy counter to friend: You know why they got that, right? (points to sign about restrictions on liquid cough medicine sales) Cos people are using them to make methamphetamine. Mm-hmm, if you mix that up you can make methamphetamine. (looks around, whispers to friend, they laugh) You don't see any brothers doing that shit, that's all I'm saying.

New Rochelle, New York

Lady at table of discount clothing to guy browsing through sweatshirts: Yeah, Japanese-made condoms are really the most reliable.
Guy: Mmm-hmm.

Overheard by: woefully uninformed

Deli customer: Could I have a kilo of shaved black forest ham, please?
Confused deli worker: How much?
Deli customer: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I need to know how much you want.
Deli customer, getting frustrated: One kilo of shaved black forest ham.
Confused deli worker: So, 500 grams?
Deli customer, astonished: A kilo is 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker: Um… How much do you want?
Deli customer, annoyed: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I don't know how much you want.
Deli customer, more annoyed: One kilo. 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker, after thinking for a minute: So, two 500 gram packages?
Deli customer, astonished: Sure.
Deli customer's partner: Are you serious?


Overheard by: Math is hard