Shopper, examining fish: So, have you had any perverts coming in here yet?
Shop assistant: No… Not yet.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Lena
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Little old lady to cashier: Satan puked here.
Rapid City, South Dakota
20-something client: How do you spell “Matthew?”
Confused staff: Matthew? As in a person's name? Like “Matthew Perry” Matthew?
20-something: Yeah, it's my middle name and I want to put it on my resume. Does it have two t's or one?
Unemployment Centre
Ontario
Canadia
Life insurance rep: So how many cigarettes do you smoke a day?
Young woman: Oh, maybe like three or four…
Life insurance rep: Oh, that's cute.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Coffee shop employee: Sir, are you a cop?
Customer: No. Why do you ask?
Coffee shop employee looking at badge on customer’s shirt: I saw your thingy.
Customer, looking down at his fly: What?!
Covington, Louisiana
Eurotrash: Can we sit outside? We want to smoke.
Hostess: Sorry, the patio just closed.
Eurotrash: If I tell you you’re pretty, would you let us sit outside?
Hostess: I can’t let you do that, sir.
Eurotrash: You are very pretty.
Hostess: I’ll see what I can do.
Restaurant
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: flossy.
Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can’t fuck’em, what’s the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
