Satisfied customer: They had bacon I would drop-kick a nun for.
Maggie’s
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Satisfied customer: They had bacon I would drop-kick a nun for.
Maggie’s
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Customer: I want that shirt. The one with the cool-looking gun on it.
Employee: Gun? Dude, that’s Florida…
Boston, Massachusetts
Cashier: Merry Christmas.
Customer: You, too.
Cashier: Wait! I gotta be politically correct — Happy Holidays.
Customer: Yeah, I’m Jewish.
Cashier: Oh my god, me too!
Customer: Then why the fuck are we wishing each other a Merry Christmas?
Cashier: I have no fucking clue.
Wegmans
Manalapan, New Jersey
Overheard by: I celebrate christmas….
Woman looking at plate of fajitas: Ummm, I ordered fajitas.
Waiter: Those are fajitas…
Woman: Oh. [Begins eating fajitas.]
Chili’s
Oldsmar, Florida
Bar patron: I might talk about it if I had a few drinks in me… But I’d never let someone do it!
Hawaii Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you’ll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won’t.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Customer #1: Can you tell me about these TVs? Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. You are dressed just like them.
Customer #2: That's okay. I don't know much about TVs.
Customer #1: What's to know? You plug it in and connect the cable, right? You probably know as much as them. Now these TVs, if they are digital, which they say they are… do I need a cable box for these or do I just put the setting on cable?
Customer #2: I don't know. I don't have a digital TV.
Customer #1: I don't have a TV either. I'm homeless. I have a radio.
Best Buy
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Scomart
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
Tourist: Is it solid silver?
Salesman: Let me show you. First, do you know how to tell the difference between solid silver and silver plate?
Tourist: No.
Salesman: This is solid silver.
Dodgy Souvenir Shop
Egypt
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
