When Lifetime Television Becomes a How-To

Girl #1: I was watching tv last night, and this girl was prostituting herself to pay for med school…
Girl #2: That is such a good idea!

UC Berkeley, California

Posted on September 26, 2020
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Money, Technology

You Can Cry Afterwards and He Can't Tell

Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.

Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on September 24, 2020
Class, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Sex, Weirdness, Words

Your Editors Plan to Give The Family Circus Another Look

Irate eight-year-old, daughter about younger brother: Mommy, Jeff is spanking me again!
Out-of-patience mom: What have I told you two? No spanking! (quietly to husband) Only daddy can spank.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Posted on September 23, 2020
Default

Guess What I’ve Done with the Butter Dispenser

Popcorn hater: Oh my god! You’re going to walk out of there with a popcorn-bag fashioned diaper, aren’t you?
Popcorn enthusiast: It’s supportive and delicious!

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Posted on September 19, 2020
Arizona, Creepsters, Default, Food, Weirdness

I Swear On This Stack of Flannel Shirts

Drunk sorority girl: I swear, I'm not gay! I just crush a lot.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Posted on September 19, 2020
Default, Drunks, New York, Sexuality, Sorority types

Is That Why You Always Look Fatter When We Leave Williams Sonoma?

Homely housewife: And she said, “are you going to blot it?” and I said, “of course, that's why I collect napkins.”

Fayette Mall
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: verticalQ

Posted on September 18, 2020
Default, Kentucky, Malls, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Behind the Wheel, Sure

Girl (reading inspirational quote): “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn’t she, like, a killer?

Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Sunissa

Posted on September 17, 2020
Canadia, Default, Girls, History, Idiots, Names, Philosophy, Stores, Stupidity

Michigan Girls Make a Bid for the Title

Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won't flush it and then you'll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 16, 2020
Default, Girls, Michigan, Offers and requests, Poop, Restroom, Weirdness

…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior

Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!

Canberra
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2020
Advice, Australia, Default, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Teens

It Says Here the Mule Consented?

Cop: You know there’s a warrant out for your arrest, right?
Guy with arm in cast: Oh, really?
Cop: Yeah… So we should probably have a chat about that.

Town Court
Duanesburg, New York

Overheard by: 91 in a 65

Posted on September 14, 2020
Advice, Cops, Crimes, Default, Guys, New York, Questions

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