Ever Seen a Cooch Do Three Snaps in Z-Formation?

Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagina, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagina?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Livi

Posted on January 7, 2020
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Fashion, Florida, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Sexuality, Teens, Vagina

The Three Wise Men Riding the Giant Rudolph Out Of the Manger Was a Snazzy Touch, Though

Woman with a house that is way overdecorated for Christmas: Oh look at that… Nice nativity. Jesus ain't got nothin' on us bitches!

Amarillo, Texas

Posted on January 6, 2020
Default

At the Very Least, in the Cafeteria Food

Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.

Burlington, Vermont

Posted on January 4, 2020
Animals, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Moms, Vermont, Women

Buy Me a Pony and I'll Throw in the Windshield

Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!

Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas

Overheard by: I love Mommy too

Posted on January 3, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Malls, Texas, Weirdness

Cute Cornrows!

Girl #1: It's so freezing right now! How are you not cold?? (shivering on a picnic bench).
Girl #2: (nonchalantly) I think it's because I'm trying to grow out my armpit hair.

California State University, East Bay

Posted on January 2, 2020
Default

Do You Have to Ask Me That Every Day?

College dude to sales associate: This is going to sound like a weird question, but do you have marijuana-scented air fresheners for cars?

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Laughing behind a greeting card display

Posted on January 1, 2020
Default

There Are Men Out There Who Would Pay Top-Dollar for the Privilege.

Girl: Yeah, I brushed my teeth! (pause) You want to lick my gums and see?

Chinatown
Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on December 31, 2019
Body parts, Canadia, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions

We'll Be Departing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia