Woman in crowded gas-station restroom: "yep, it's like three butts in a two-butt kitchen."
Sheridan, WY
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Woman in crowded gas-station restroom: "yep, it's like three butts in a two-butt kitchen."
Sheridan, WY
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Happy teacher: Welcome to creative writing class. This class is like us taking a hot bath. Together. With candles.
Harpeth Hall School
Nashville, Tennessee
Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy: In the washing machine, and the birds just keep opening their mouths because they're stupid, so they keep getting bigger…
Los Angeles, California
Pastor, during sermon: You never know what's gonna come outta somethin' till you squeeze it.
Methodist Church
Port Norris, New Jersey
Overheard by: stunned organist
Girl: I saw two penises on Saturday.
Outside Airport, Yellowknife
Northwest Territories
Canadia
Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: nayvera
Academic-type Oxford guy: You have such silky hair.
American girl: Thanks…
Academic-type Oxford guy: You could weave a garment out of it!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Catherine
Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies
