Default

Bartender on smoke break: "I guess the rules don't apply to them."
Cook on smoke break: "who?"
Bartender: "that cop who just sped down the street and ran the red light."
Cook: "oh. I wasn't paying attention. Cops do what they want. They just don't give a fuck."
Fat, drunk redneck who has been sitting nearby, smoking: "cops shot my cousin in the leg. Shot him four times in the belly. He's got a bullet lodged in his spine. He's up in prison now on disability."
bartender tosses cigarette and goes inside.
Cook: "did that happen here in town?"
Redneck: "yeah, he was one of them what got shot at the parade (unintelligible) just watching the parade."
Cook, finishing cigarette:"okay, I gotta go back to work now. Stay away from cops."

Patio of Blue Nile restaurant/bar, Harrisonburg, VA

Guy: … Because the pope touches himself. That’s my answer for the first question. That’s my answer to any question, really.

History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: Kaiti

Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.

McDaniel College
Maryland

Gross girl: Well, that girl's bathroom wasn't that bad.
Grosser guy: Well, the flies come to the men's because they like the pee pee floor. Mmmhmm.

Metro Red Line
Washington, DC

Peeing guy #1: Jesus Christ, how tall are you?
Peeing guy #2: Six three.
Peeing guy #1: How did I never notice this before?
Peeing guy #2: Why did you have to notice at a urinal?

Arclight Cinema Men's Room
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Matt W.

Girl in English class: In Illinois I get $176.50 in food stamps so I can eat. Missouri, they want to give me $21. 21? 21 dollars isn't enough to feed Jesus, and he disappeared!

SEMO University
Cape Girardeau, Missouri

Overheard by: Ken

Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!

Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri

Sorority girl: Well, did you get spanked by the entire party? No! That was me! (does a victory dance)

San Diego State University
San Diego, California

Overheard by: oh, really?

20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Karen

Eight- year-old girl to parents: Can I pleeeese have a Cinnabon?
Dad: No, you don't need that. Finish your dinner.
Eight- year-old girl: If I don't get a Cinnabon, I'm basically going to kill myself.

Rest Stop
New York Thruway

Overheard by: Karen