…Our Relationship Has Already Taken Numerous Twists and Turns.

Bus driver: Excuse me. (no one looks at him) Excuse me! (he continues driving) Was I supposed to make that turn?
Everyone within earshot: No!
Bus driver: My bad!
Lady in front row: Tell that to my boss when I walk in late.

dcist.com

Posted on December 1, 2014
Default

Thanks, Airfone!

Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club…by myself!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on December 1, 2014
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Default, Euphemisms, Girls, Names, Public transportation, Sex, Words

In the Meantime All of Our Popsicles Taste Like Mr. Waggles

Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.

Landmark College
Putney, Vermont

Posted on December 1, 2014
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Teachers, Vermont, Weather, Weirdness

Mary Lou Gets Another Merit Badge

Chick #1: No sex, just rimming.
Chick #2: Great!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on November 30, 2014
Colorado, Default, Girls, Kink, Sex

At Least Wait 'til We Get to Dubai

Ten-year-old girl to passing adult man: What's your name?
Mother, scolding: Do you have to hit on every man you see?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Posted on November 30, 2014
California, Default, Girls, Kids, Moms, Names, Questions, Sexuality, Tourist attractions, Women

Aw, I Love Lolkatz.

Boyfriend, getting off train at coventry station: So… This is coventry. Doesn't seem too bad…
Girlfriend, following, with vehemence: Its a fucking shithole populated by tracksuit wearing, mouth breathing, illiterate, shitcunt morons. If my parents didn't fucking live in the fucking place I'd never come back. I mean, the fucking luftwaffe leveled the place and that wasn't enough to get rid of it. It all needs to be killed with fire.
Boyfriend, slightly taken aback: Wow… You… Really don't like it here, huh?
Girlfriend: I hate the place like hitler hated gay jewish kittens.

Coventry Station, Covenfuckingtry, England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on November 29, 2014
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Nothing Feels Like Real Wood

College girl: So how do you masturbate?
Friend: I hump my desk.
College girl: Wait…really?!
Friend: Yeah, it's great. I can go from nothing to orgasm in like, 20 seconds.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania