College girl #1: You know how that rumor got started? Because you denied him. It happened to my mom in high school.
College girl #2: “Just because I didn't sleep with you doesn't mean I have chlamydia!” I so need a shirt that says that.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Dude to chick: It's the first day of class–let's get wasted! (both hi five)
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Stats professor explaining problem: And that comes out to be 13.58 when we hire monkeys to plug in the values on our calculators…[more quietly] I really do love monkeys you know…
Barnum Hall, Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Professor to students: You need go out and have a lot of sex.
Seattle University, Washington
Student: So, basically I’ve come to beg for my life.
Professor: Go on.
Student: So, I need this class to graduate, right? But I know I’m failing. The problem is I’m taking too many credit hours and stopped coming to class, but this guy that I know who was taking notes for me and whatever — he stopped coming to class because he says he can’t stand to listen to you drone on and on. But don’t worry, it’s not like I don’t like psychology or anything — I love deviant psychology. So can I get extra credit or something?
Professor: Oh, Lord, no.
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: JP
Girl: I haven't been on a stage since grammar school. Having sex on a stage is so much better than quoting Susan B. Anthony.
Jersey City, New Jersey
College girl, yelling at friend: I mean, I hooked up with everyone in Sigma Nu before I was dating him! Why wouldn't I keep hooking up with everyone in Sigma Nu now?
Starbucks
Los Angeles, California
Professor: So, the creation of Stonehenge is a good example of how a bunch of people can do something.
Palm Bay, Florida
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Isn’t “Balls!” such a great expression? It’s just so… you know… I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting “Balls!” at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Balls!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
