Obvious minor: Can I get a pack of Marlboro lights?
Mini-mart man: Do you have ID?
Obvious minor, indignant: Yeah, but I don't have it on me!
Mini-mart man: Would you like two packs for $9.45?
Obvious minor: No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
Greenport, New York
Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?
Target
Little Falls, New Jersey
Overheard by: harry bohemis
Waitress: Is this the book club? These are your free shots.
Bar
Allston, Massachusetts
Cashier to woman in express line with 50 items: Ma'am, this is the ten-or-less line.
Woman: Oh, sorry! My son got in trouble and I got on the wrong exercise bike!
Cashier: Oh.
Quincy, Massachusetts
Employee: She was my supervisor at the one daycare… Then they fired her, so now she works for the government.
Target
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: absent
Airport PA: Will the man with his pants around his ankles please return to Security and retrieve your belt?
Chicago Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.
Austin, Texas
Delta gate agent to another: There's always something wrong with this plane.
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Hoping to get bumped
Toy store employee: Wait, so which one has the butthole?
Mall
New Jersey
Overheard by: thinking of the children
