Employees

Security: What are you studying?
Girl checking books in X-ray machine: Proper oral technique.
Security: (snickers)
Girl: Dentistry!
Security: Oh.

Airpot
Newcastle
England

Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!

Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California

Hobo: Do you know what the world needs more of?
Coffee employee: Love?
Hobo: Nope, toothpicks… but love was a good guess.

Sacramento, California

20-something client: How do you spell “Matthew?”
Confused staff: Matthew? As in a person's name? Like “Matthew Perry” Matthew?
20-something: Yeah, it's my middle name and I want to put it on my resume. Does it have two t's or one?

Unemployment Centre
Ontario
Canadia

Gay Blockbuster employee: I hear the New England Patriots are going to make it to the Super Bowl this year.
Customer: Yeah, I hope. They're my favorite team.
Gay Blockbuster employee: Wait, New England… Are other countries allowed to play in the Super Bowl?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Pharmacy assistant holding phone to pharmacist: This guy on the phone found some prescription bottles in a drawer and wants to know what they are. Can you talk to him?
Pharmacist: Did he eat them already?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: mmm….mystery pills

Life insurance rep: So how many cigarettes do you smoke a day?
Young woman: Oh, maybe like three or four…
Life insurance rep: Oh, that's cute.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Coffee shop employee: Sir, are you a cop?
Customer: No. Why do you ask?
Coffee shop employee looking at badge on customer’s shirt: I saw your thingy.
Customer, looking down at his fly: What?!

Covington, Louisiana

Librarian at info desk: How are you today?
Gloomy guy: Not very well.
Librarian: Why not?
Guy: Oh, my girlfriend's being mean to me… Are you single?
Librarian, unfazed: No, I'm married.

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Motorist at detour: What do you mean I have to go around? I can't go around! What's going on?
Frustrated firefighter: Fire Department activity sir.
Motorist: What kind of Fire Department activity?
Frustrated firefighter: Arts and crafts, sir. Move along.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: Pokey