For the Same Reason the Tampon Ads Spare Us the Gory Details

Older woman, watching Viagra tv commercial: Why don't they ever show the guy from the waist down with a big ol' boner?

Airport
Atlanta, Georgia

Um, Congratulations?

20-something guy: Dude, I have been waiting four to five years for this boner.

Medford, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Neme

Girlfriend to boyfriend who is trying hard not to look at a hot girl dancing sexily: Don't worry baby, I'm getting the erection for you.

Manhattan, New York

Child eating skeleton fruit snacks: Mommy, look! I'm eating a boner!

Disney World
Florida

Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it “Lady Boner.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?

University of Illinois at Chicago

Overheard by: suddenly paying attention

20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!

Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California

Professor to class (during tasting session): Anybody getting any wood on this one?

Wine Appreciation 101
University of Houston, Texas

Male student: I just… can't control my erections.

Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington