Gripes

Little boy: I don’t wanna walk any more.
Father: No talking when we’re on vacation!

Michigan Avenue and East Hubbard
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Thad

Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk…
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom…

University of Virginia

Guy: But I hate wearing condoms! I can’t feel anything. I might as well put my dick in a cereal box.
Girl: I think my vagina is a bit different from a cereal box.
Dude, excitedly: If your vagina had cereal in it, I’d eat you out all the time!

Davidson, North Carolina

Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?

University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: A+

Man in line for character photos: Crap, I just took a picture of someone else's kids, I'm not a pedophile, don't start thinking that!

Disney World
Florida

Overheard by: Chelsea

Ghetto girl on cell: I don’t care what the fuck they said… They don’t know shit ’bout my coochie!

McArthur Center
Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: wes

Student #1: He went flying over the Rockies and they haven't found his plane.
Professor: Oh, good, good! I hated that guy.
Student #2: Who was he?
Professor: Some rich fucker.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Little girl to mom bending over stroller: Fine, to make you happy I’ll dress up in my little baby clothes so you’ll pay attention to me.

Panera Bread
Lewisville, Texas

Guy #1: Dude, the prof is such a bitch!
Guy #2: Yeah, it must’ve been that time of the month for her.
Girl: That is, like, so incredibly sexist! Ugh! [Storms off.]Guy #2: What the hell was that all about?
Guy #1: Must be that time of month for her, too.
Guy #2: For real.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/17/if-this-isnt-funny-its-your-time-of-the-month-too-ok/

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado