Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.
Bennington College
Vermont
Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.
Bennington College
Vermont
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
Guy to friend: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it, but my hamster just isn't working right.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Not-at-all 21
Guy: Oh my god, she hates me!
Girl: What? Why?
Guy: Cause I'm the kid who threw a sandwich at her!
Tacoma, Washington
Chubby guy, pointing to cookies: Can I have one from this side where they're, like, actually cooked?
Chow Line
USS Nimitz Carrier
Overheard by: LikesThemBurnt
Guy: Do you know how I know you were singing correctly?
Girl: You saw me sucking in my stomach?
Guy: No. When you started spitting at me!
Girl: I can't help that I have great diction!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Girl at party: These people are so disgusting! One guy actually called dibs on me.
Guy, loudly: Yeah, these people are douchebags.
Girl: Shhhh! They'll hear you!
Guy: So what?
Girl: Then they'll think I'm the one that brought all the weird people to the party.
Guy: You did.
Girl: But I don't want them to know that!
Random party guy: Yeah, dude, stop. You're embarrassing her in front of all the people she hates.
Columbus, Ohio
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
Girl to girl and guy: Guys, can I just tell you about my weekend?
(no reply)
Girl again: Can I tell ya'll about my weekend?
(they look at her and nod)
Girl again, whispering: It had to do with a penis…
UNCC Campus
Charlotte, North Carolina
