Woman (talking on the phone about a friend): She's happy as a clam since she had her uterus removed…
Husband (in the background): Happy as a clam without a uterus.
Woman: (glaring at him, keeps talking)
Husband: Happy as a clam without a uterus!
Dresden, New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn…a candy bar…
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.
CVS
University City, Philadelphia
Overheard by: justtryingtowaitinline
Porn-'stached scuzzball: I mean, if you ever, like, masturbated, you'd know that smell.
Robinson, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: And I Go To College With You??
Dude #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Dude #2: Well, I know I'm going to see at least one more naked person this weekend than usual.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Guy #1: Dude, I gotta tell you about this lemon coffee cake.
Guy #2: I said no!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/408802734/sensitive-subject.html
Overheard by: oh geeze.
Strange, awkward tall guy, putting down a math magazine: I noticed that you didn't finish your pretzel cheese.
Girl across the table doing homework (mystified): No, I guess I didn't.
Strange, awkward tall guy: I was going to ask for it, but then I realized I don't have anything to dip in it.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: It was a small pretzel
Short-haired college girl to guy friend: So, is it okay if I fart in front of you?
Guy friend (pause): Well, you're gay, right? Then I guess it's okay.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/396734652/good-because-i-already-did.html
Overheard by: a. Lil.
Sex ed teacher: Now, before I start this class, all of you remember that my penis is bigger.
Australia
Overheard by: Not so sure…
Mom with two kids getting on escalator: Tommy, do you know what this is called? This is an escalator.
Tommy: Escalator.
Mom: Do you know what the opposite of “escalate” is?
(Tommy remains silent)
Mom: Elevate!
Airport
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl: Have you had glandular fever?
Guy: Yes, have you?
Girl: Yeah, the doctor gave me this cream to put on my mouth that was made from stuff that comes from uncircumcised dicks. I was like, “that doctor soooo didn't think I'd read the label.”
Melbourne
Australia
