Health & Hygiene

20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it’s not ringworm — it’s some kind of skin virus that looks like ringworm. And they said I’m really lucky because so far it’s only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it’s probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/lets_take_public_transporation.html

Overheard by: sooooo glad I didn’t sit next to her

Overly chatty middle-aged guy on date: Doctors love giving women a hysterectomy. They will find any reason to give a woman a hysterectomy. Like, we're already up there, might as well scoop it on out now.

Italian Restaurant
Highland, California

Overheard by: well,,,there goes my appetite.

30-something #1: Last night I was brushing my hair, cause you know I haven't owned a hair brush in a year… And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-something #2: You are a dirty hippie, you need to use some soap!
30-something #1: I don't like labels, man. I don't have soap.
30-something #2: True, man, labels are whack. But dude, you smell.

Hostel
New Mexico

Overheard by: Alex

Lady in suit to man in wheelchair: Well, you're quick on your feet, I'll give you that. You're quick on your feet… Oh.

Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

20-something girl: My ass hurts and my throat is sore. I also feel very underwhelmed.

San Francisco, California

Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He's so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!

Atlanta, Georgia

Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.

Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: aimc

Girl #1: Did you finish your French project?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Did you puke on it?
Girl #2: No, not this time.

Laguna Hills, California

Girl #1: My two biggest concerns in life are rowing and gays.
Girl #2: Rowing and what?
Girl #1: Gays!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Girl: Well, the sad thing is I'm gonna have to treat you like Morgan when she doesn't want to take her ear infection pills.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts