Chick #1: About 20 minutes is good enough.
Chick #2: But what about the pleasure part?
Colby College, Maine
Overheard by: they stopped talking when they saw me listening
Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category
After a Long Winter, the Root Cellar’s Empty
20-something hipster to friend: So…I’m officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
See –Look at Her Go to Town on That Man’s Shoe
Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She’ll kiss worse things in her life.
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs
Customer: I’ll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don’t have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: just wanted a coffee
Possibly the Apocalypse?
Loud woman to friend: So I said to her, “I gotta go. Linda’s avocado is ripe and you know what that means.”
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Taffy Doublewide
This Is Why I Divorced Your Father
Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid’s face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can’t lay down on the floor.
Portland, Maine
Paul Bunyan Fantasies Run Wild in the Gay Community
Effeminate tourist guy on cell: So yeah, it was rigidly pressed in the watershed…
Cottage Street
Bar Harbor, Maine
On the Plus Side, You Always Had Somewhere to Hang Your Coat
Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!
Maine
Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt
I’m the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About
Suit: I can’t masturbate to a picture of myself!
Maine
The Technical Term Is “Cellmates”
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn’t it be great if you were fucking someone’s ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
