20-something hipster to friend: So…I'm officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
20-something hipster to friend: So…I'm officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She’ll kiss worse things in her life.
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Customer: I'll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don't have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: just wanted a coffee
Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid's face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can't lay down on the floor.
Portland, Maine
Effeminate tourist guy on cell: So yeah, it was rigidly pressed in the watershed…
Cottage Street
Bar Harbor, Maine
Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!
Maine
Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt
Suit: I can’t masturbate to a picture of myself!
Maine
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn’t it be great if you were fucking someone’s ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
Man shopping with wife: Well, I recognize that someday I just won't need all my body parts.
Target Store
Augusta, Maine
