Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Woman: I'm all for a reign of terror, but nothing that involves Winnie the Pooh.
Portland, Maine
Guy to girlfriend after late-night party: You name a breast after me, but you don't trust me?
West End
Portland, Maine
Pretentious student to professor: There were a lot of people there. Interesting people. But most of them weren't as interesting as me.
University of Maine
Orono, Maine
Biology teacher to uninterested students: Sperm doesn't just crawl along the floor.
Maine
Teacher: No one liked middle school. Everyone hates middle school. I'd rather starve to death than teach middle school. I'd rather starve my baby to death than teach middle school.
Student: I liked middle school.
Teacher: Freak!
Portland, Maine
Tourist to park ranger: How do I get to Mt. Desert Island from here?
Park ranger: Ummm, you're standing on it.
Tourist: No, I'm not.
Park ranger: Yes, you are.
Tourist: This is ridiculous, I'm going to report you to the government.
Park ranger: No, really, you're on the island.
Mount Desert Island, Maine
Male state trooper to female state trooper: At that point they don't even qualify as carrots anymore. They're more like small creatures.
China Harbor
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kim
Blonde bimbo: So what part of New York are you from?
Brunette: Manhattan.
Blonde bimbo: Like where is that in New York?
Maine
