I’m Not Pregnant!

Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than… wait, what?!

Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on June 15, 2015
Birthing, Compliments, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Girls, Maine, Old folks, Stores, Weirdness, Women

Licking Me Will Get Us Both Off

Stoner lesbian: I bet if you like, took the time to scrape all the resin off my brain…and my lungs too. Yeah, all the resin from my brain and lungs and smoke it… You could get really really high.

Cumberland, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on December 3, 2014
Advice, Body parts, Default, Drugs, Lesbos, Maine, Stoners, Weirdness

She Was Just Very Much in Love. With Crack.

Girl #1, about friend arrested for crack-whoring: She said she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Girl #2: Yeah, right! You don’t weigh 85 pounds and have chlamydia because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Hallowell, Maine

Overheard by: smiling widely

Posted on November 28, 2014
Chicks, Gossip, Maine

I Blame the Emergence of the Trapper Keeper

Seven-year-old girl: Yeah, ’cause, like, no one was cool in the ’80s.

Super Wal-Mart
Augusta, Maine

Posted on November 6, 2014
Insults, Kids, Maine

One Of the Many Reasons I Miss College

Guy friend: I'm super excited to have couscous and sausage for lunch.
Girl friend: Yeah, I'm always kinda down till I get some sausage in me.
Guy friend: Whoa!

Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: Sarita

Posted on December 5, 2010
Feelings, Food, Friends, Maine, Sex, Weirdness

I'm Not Proud Of Myself

Woman on cell in line for bathroom: You did all that for a jelly bean!?

Airport
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on September 7, 2010
Candy, Maine, On the phone, Questions, Restroom, Women

Though Usually I'm Being Flogged at the Time

Student to teacher who just made a mistake finger-spelling on board: Finger!
Teacher, erasing board: If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me.

Hampden, Maine

Posted on April 21, 2010
Body parts, Education, Maine, Masturbation, Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

Only in the Places Where You're Smoking That Blunt

Girl #1: You look really high right now.
Girl #2, panicking: Do I smell high!?

Cumberland, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on December 27, 2009
Drugs, Girls, Maine, Questions, Sensory experiences

Then They Both Let Out Super-Sighs.

Fat tourist mom: Nah… I don't wanna eat there.
Fat tourist dad, wistfully: Well, it's not McDonald's.

Outside Marcy's Diner
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: townie knows best

Posted on December 10, 2009
Compare and contrast, Dads, Fat people, Food, Maine, Moms, Restaurants, Tourists, Wishes

The Country?

Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying “porcupine” I thought you meant “turkey.”

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on November 22, 2009
Animals, Girls, Gripes, Maine, Science, Stupidity, Wishes, Words