Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
Fluffy, bunny-foo-foo white girl to friend after yoga: Bitch, I ain’t eatin’ no biscuits ‘n’ gravy!
Gym
Maryland
Overheard by: amy beth
Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.
Frederick, Maryland
Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.
McDaniel College
Maryland
Kid: Mommy, if I were invisible, would I be Daddy’s imaginary friend or yours?
Flynn & O’Hara’s
Rockville, Maryland
Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!
Grocery Store
Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no…I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera
Angry mother: Don’t do that! [Son screams.] I have friends, you know! You think I would rather be with you than with them?! I have a life!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: K-lee
Girl #1: So what do you think of her boyfriend?
Girl #2: I can see his underwear through his pants.
Tapas Teatro
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Underwear Moderator
