Massachusetts

Hipster girl: Oh, look, there's a movie theata here too!
Hipster guy: Movie “theata”? Wow, you do have an accent… but your sister, she's really got an accent!
Hipster girl: Actually, she has a speech impediment.

Boston, Massachusetts

Girl #1, holding up box of Kellogg's frosted flakes and reading: Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: There aren't any directions.

Clark University
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jedusor

Dude: Well, maybe pickles are proto-zombies!

Burlington, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Lab-mate #1, looking at pictures: Wouldn’t that be great if it really existed?
Lab-mate #2: Definitely.
Lab-mate #1: Then people could say, ‘Where you going?’ and I’d say, ‘I’m going to Pussy Mountain.’

Boston, Massachusetts

Woman: So then he said either I have to quit smoking, or I have to have a baby.

Outback Steakhouse
Leominster, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Amycakes

Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant's penis!

Concord, Massachusetts

Lady in suit to man in wheelchair: Well, you're quick on your feet, I'll give you that. You're quick on your feet… Oh.

Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K-Mart… Shit, I mean “Wal-Mart.”

Wal-Mart
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Caitlin

Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven't dated a religion major in a long time.

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: dave

Tween boy: I'm going to make Buddha the theme of my Bar Mitzvah.
Uninterested yuppie mom: Mmhmmm.

TJ Maxx
Swampscott, Massachusetts

Overheard by: money well spent