Girl: Stop poking my love handles!
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Girl: Stop poking my love handles!
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…
Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan
A girl screams and begins running away.
Friend: It’s a chipmunk, you dumbass!
Girl, resuming original path: Oh.
Hubbard Lane
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Jigga Mouse
Girlfriend: Have you ever touched another man’s armpit hair?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Well, yours are really gossamer-y. If you shaved them off, you could weave a little swatch of, like, satin… And then you could make a quilt!
Boyfriend: Or a patchwork jacket!
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Redhead punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me… Well, actually, that’s not true. He took my technical virginity. I actually lost my anal virginity first to another guy.
Blonde hipster friend: [Silence.]Redhead punk: Yeah. So anyway, what happened was–
Blonde hipster friend, suddenly eating vigorously: –Mmm, French toast!
Denny’s
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: lost my appetite
Cashier: Whoa, those are interesting checks!
Old woman: Yeah, they usually get a reaction.
Cashier: Are those dancing skeletons?
Pat’s IGA
Calumet, Michigan
Professor: So, first of all, there's the gigantitude of the bong…
North Central Michigan College
Overheard by: Maggie
(bible thumper holding cross is passing out pamphlets on the street)
Hipster guy, yelling: Yeah! Lower case 't'!
Royal Oak, Michigan
Overheard by: Sara
