Little girl #1: This is my imaginary friend Helen.
Little girl #2: I have a girl named Lucy!
Little boy: I have a pair of scissors. Named… Mr. Scissors.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Redhead punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me… Well, actually, that’s not true. He took my technical virginity. I actually lost my anal virginity first to another guy.
Blonde hipster friend: [Silence.]Redhead punk: Yeah. So anyway, what happened was–
Blonde hipster friend, suddenly eating vigorously: –Mmm, French toast!
Denny’s
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: lost my appetite
Cashier: Whoa, those are interesting checks!
Old woman: Yeah, they usually get a reaction.
Cashier: Are those dancing skeletons?
Pat’s IGA
Calumet, Michigan
Professor: So, first of all, there's the gigantitude of the bong…
North Central Michigan College
Overheard by: Maggie
(bible thumper holding cross is passing out pamphlets on the street)
Hipster guy, yelling: Yeah! Lower case 't'!
Royal Oak, Michigan
Overheard by: Sara
Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa– Sama– Samata–
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama– Samthan– Sermana–
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: amused girlfriend
Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
Traffic cop: She said, “Do you like it?” and I was like, “Yeah, it looks really nice.” And then she said, “Is it subtle?” and I was like “Jenny*, you’re a black woman with orange and yellow hair!”
Plymouth, Michigan
Overheard by: Morgz
Chick #1: I met him when I was taking my picture in to be framed.
Chick #2: Was it a naked photo of you?
Chick #1: It was a naked lady on a panther.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
History professor: You know how I said that this class wouldn't have a lot of text-heavy PowerPoint slides? Sometimes I lie to you, because that's funny.
Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: i love this school
