Case in Point

Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?

Michigan State University, Michigan

Posted on May 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

You Ran Over My Puke!

20-something girl with beer in hand to 20-something guy behind her: I recognize you!
20-something guy: Yeah! You puked on my car!

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on May 28, 2020
Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Weirdness

My Parents Are Native American. What's It to You?

Drunk guy, walking into bathroom: Hey, you are at my pisser!
Sober guy at urinal: I didn't realize your name was “push to flush.”

Bar
Michigan

Overheard by: I wasn't looking

Posted on April 2, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Comebacks, Drunks, Guys, Michigan, Names, Pee, Restroom

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

Something Grave, Anyway.

Catechism teacher: Where's Eric today?
Eric's friend: Eric's at the hospital with his mom.
Catechism teacher, concerned: Why?
Eric's friend: Cuz she has a tombstone, or something like that.

Rochester Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Betsy

Posted on February 27, 2020
Education, Friends, Maladies, Michigan, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Not Even Drag Queen Bingo?

Religion professor: Contrary to popular belief, bingo is not a sacrament!

North Central Michigan College

Posted on February 14, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Games, Michigan, Religion, Teachers

Raising Vampires Is a Thankless Job

Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?

Michigan State University

Posted on January 17, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Michigan, Old folks, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

“Don't Jump Off That Building.” “Stop Touching That Burner.” Nag, Nag, Nag!

Woman to five-year-old daughter in elevator: You're getting off at the wrong floor, sweetie. This is the wrong floor… The wrong floor… The wrong floor! God, do you ever listen to me?
Five-year-old daughter: I'm trying not to.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: laughing

Posted on November 6, 2019
Advice, Kids, Michigan, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Should have used a condom

…of Stuff That Never Happened

Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!

Michigan State University

Posted on October 5, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Guys, Memory lane, Michigan, Weirdness, Words

…But You Found a Scarf? Score!

Bimbette on phone, nonchalantly: So you lost your baby?

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on September 27, 2019
Abortion, Bimbettes, Default, Etiquette, Michigan, On the phone, Questions