Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes… So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y’know?
Sorostitute #2: So true…
Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi
Student to college secretary: Have any peppermints?
Receptionist: As in candy?
Student: Yeah. Peppermints.
Receptionist: Um, no?
Student: What kind of a dumb-ass school doesn’t have peppermints?!?
University for Women
Mississippi
Overheard by: Megan S.
Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I’m like, “Bedbugs?!” It’s not like I have dead bodies layin’ around, or anything.
Casino
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: so, where are they?
20-something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co-worker: What?! What was it?
20-something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: don’t ditch health class
Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
Black professor: Actually, it wasn’t neither… Excuse me, I had an Ebonics moment. Please forgive me.
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”
Mississippi College School of Law
Male redneck: You can come over, but you can’t be shittin’ in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously… I like you and all, but I don’t know you good enough for you to be stankin’ up my bathroom.
(they leave together)
Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?
Professor, trying to explain something entirely unrelated to elephants: I mean, no one wants their elephant to explode!
Planetary Geology class, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Overheard by: blondie
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
