Tiny college girl waiting in line: The cookies are soooooo good!
Tall male friend, confused: The ice cream?
Tiny college girl: The penises!
Tall male friend: Oh!
Tiny college girl: We just didn't let them cool!
Stop & Shop
Manhattan, New York
Tiny college girl waiting in line: The cookies are soooooo good!
Tall male friend, confused: The ice cream?
Tiny college girl: The penises!
Tall male friend: Oh!
Tiny college girl: We just didn't let them cool!
Stop & Shop
Manhattan, New York
Wife eating cheeseburger: I know what my New Year’s resolution is going to be…
Distracted husband: To lose weight?
Wife: What? No! Why would you say that?! Do you think I’m getting fat?
Husband: Oh! No, no, no — you’re not fat. You’re perfect! I love you so much just the way you are.
Wife: Whatever. I better be getting a good fucking Christmas present, and you definitely won’t be seeing me naked for a very long time.
Wendy’s
New Hartford, New York
Teenage scene girl: I'm going to American Apparel to apply for a job.
Friend: Do you think you'll get the job?
Teenage scene girl: Yeah, but I don't think my mom will let me.
Friend: Why?
Teenage scene girl: There are lesbians there.
McDonald's
Manhattan, New York
College professor: Are you mocking my forest? My forest could kick your forest's butt any day. Bring your forest on!
(later)
College professor: I can see my forest from the window in my office. Do you have an office you can see your forest from?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it — tries to copulate with it… I had a roommate like that once.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Student #1: Hey, how was your Easter?
Student #2: I'm Jewish, but thank you!
Paul Smith's College
New York
Overheard by: agnostic librarian
Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.
High School Law Class
New York
Overheard by: Adrienne
College chick #1: Where are we going?
College chick #2: I think he just draws stuff and has freaky sex…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
