Girl: Oh my gosh, Brian* went off with the sexual predator dude!
Couple, in unison: Bro rape!
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
College professor: Are you mocking my forest? My forest could kick your forest's butt any day. Bring your forest on!
(later)
College professor: I can see my forest from the window in my office. Do you have an office you can see your forest from?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it — tries to copulate with it… I had a roommate like that once.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Student #1: Hey, how was your Easter?
Student #2: I'm Jewish, but thank you!
Paul Smith's College
New York
Overheard by: agnostic librarian
Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.
High School Law Class
New York
Overheard by: Adrienne
College chick #1: Where are we going?
College chick #2: I think he just draws stuff and has freaky sex…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?
Emergency Room
Westchester, New York
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
