Professor: Isn't Jim just a perplexing guy? I read his stories and I'm just like, “what's wrong with him?” Jim, you're just stoned all the time, aren't you? Are you stoned right now?
Jim: No!
Professor: But were you stoned earlier today?
Jim: Yes. But only because I was hungover!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Girl in stall: Hi, can you put mom on the phone? (pause) Hey mom, yeah, it's me…next time you're online, go to my Facebook page and check out the pictures of me at the strip club.
Ladies Restroom, Library
Mississippi
Woman, holding up holiday card: This card is perfect! It says exactly what I want! (reads typical greeting card poem)
Man: Wow, it really says that?
Woman: Well, I made part of it up.
Fred Meyer Store
Oregon
Teen girl, looking confused: Wait, guys. (pause) Do black people see in different colors?
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Professor: Please don't talk amongst yourselves. When you talk amongst yourselves, I imagine you're saying horrible things like “Who would ever want to shag him?”
Previously chatting student: Don't worry! We all want to shag you!
University of Glasgow
Scotland
UK
Very large man, staring down at his junk in front of urinal: Come on now, baby, you can do it, come on…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Dan
Ditzy girl: I was so scared! Like, really, really scared. I was like: “please be a virgin, please be a virgin!”
Eugene, Oregon
Guy on cell phone: I think it would look really bad if you gave me a check for $1000.
University Library
Montreal
Canadia
Teen girl in stall #1, reading: “Press for assistance…” Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: What?
Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up!
Dressing Room
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Alicia K.
Teacher: Let's all play a c.
(music class plays a horrible, off-key c)
Teacher: Without the instruments, then.
High School
Oslo
Norway
Overheard by: Jorunn
