Couldn’t You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

Bouncer: I don’t know… Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don’t your shoes match your skirt?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on January 31, 2026
Canadia, Chicks, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Fashion, Guys, Insults, Jocks, Offers and requests, Questions, Shoes

… With My Girlfriend

Guy: Dude, I’m totally getting sexiled by my pre-frosh tonight.

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Blue Devils

Posted on January 29, 2026
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Education, Frat boy types, Guys, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Students, Words

I’d Love to See That Resume

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on January 20, 2026
Employees, Euphemisms, Food, Georgia, Guys, Licking, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

She Still Has Traces of a Soul

Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…

Los Angeles, California

Posted on January 18, 2026
California, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I’m Trying Not to Press My Luck

Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson

Posted on January 17, 2026
Christianity, Michigan, Offers and requests, Offspring, Pregnancy, Religious fanatics, Sexuality, Whiteys, Wishes, Women

Not Unless There’s a Rocket in There

Teacher: Come, take a journey with me into *David’s pockets.

MDN High School
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 15, 2026
Arizona, Clothes, Education, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

If You’re Really Bad, I’ll Make You Go in the Ball Pit

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM

Posted on January 9, 2026
Dads, Default, Etiquette, Family, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

And You Can Only Show the Video to a Limited Audience

Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Slutgers Girl