Offers and requests

Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?

Los Angeles, California

Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]

Luton
England

Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.

Glendale Heights, Illinois

Overheard by: rbmmom

Bouncer: I don’t know… Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don’t your shoes match your skirt?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Guy: Dude, I’m totally getting sexiled by my pre-frosh tonight.

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Blue Devils

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…

Los Angeles, California

Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson

Teacher: Come, take a journey with me into *David’s pockets.

MDN High School
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jamie

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM