Offers and requests

But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I’m Trying Not to Press My Luck

Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson

Posted on January 17, 2026
Christianity, Michigan, Offers and requests, Offspring, Pregnancy, Religious fanatics, Sexuality, Whiteys, Wishes, Women

Not Unless There’s a Rocket in There

Teacher: Come, take a journey with me into *David’s pockets.

MDN High School
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 15, 2026
Arizona, Clothes, Education, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

If You’re Really Bad, I’ll Make You Go in the Ball Pit

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM

Posted on January 9, 2026
Dads, Default, Etiquette, Family, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

And You Can Only Show the Video to a Limited Audience

Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Slutgers Girl

Posted on January 6, 2026
Bimbettes, Default, Friends, Girls, Gripes, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality

Mango: Nobody Touch Me!

Lady on PA system: United 119 passengers can claim their baggage at carousel D… D as in delicious. Delicious mango. Delicious, delicious mangoes.

Logan International Airport
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: John Y

Posted on December 27, 2025
Advice, Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Fruit, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Sensory experiences, Weirdness, Women, Words

Or Should We Cut to the Chase and Snort Some Lines?

Six-year-old girl to six-year old boy: Do you want to get a coffee?

Barnes & Noble
Plainfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Tdcompton

Posted on December 25, 2025
Age and ageing, Default, Illinois, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Stores, Wishes

And Stop Masturbating in the Shower — You’re Clogging the Drain.

Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.

Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California

Posted on December 13, 2025
Airports & flights, California, Default, Geography, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Pilots

Like We Do at Funerals

Guy: Hey, the Pussycat Dolls are coming to Montreal!
Girl: Cool.
Guy: Wanna go?
Girl: Yeah! We can sit in the front row and masturbate!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/10/as-though-ejaculating-at-that-christina-aguilera-concert-wasnt-enough/

Overheard by:

Posted on November 22, 2025
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Masturbation, Music, Offers and requests, Overheard at McGill, TV shows

Humping Cats Just Scream Curb Appeal

Guy riding in car with real estate agent: I think we’re looking for something– Dude those cats were humping!
Agent, to driver: Go back, go back!

Bedford, Texas

Overheard by: Tswerve

Posted on November 21, 2025
Animals, Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Sex, Texas

And If Chris Hansen Shows Up, Don’t Let Him In

Angry woman on cell: I told you — we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!

Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Posted on November 16, 2025
Assholes, Christianity, Default, Education, Offers and requests, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Women