Offers and requests

Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!

Georgia Tech

Overheard by: YellowJacketGals

Mom: Can you sit there and be mommy's good boy just a little longer? We're almost done shopping.
Boy: No. I'm not your good boy. I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh you aren't? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I'm not your big boy! I'm not your big boy, and I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh really, then what are you?
Boy: I'm a grandma!

Overheard by: kari

Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl's face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.

Overheard by: tara

Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!

Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Guy: Men are bastards. I'm a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?

Norman, Oklahoma

Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!

Simi Valley, California

Mother in bathroom stall with four-year-old son: No, no, you're peeing on mommy. Aim lower! Aim lower!

Augusta, Georgia

Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)

Amherst, Massachusetts