30-something woman to employee: Hey, do you have those long jean skirts here? You know, the kind that polygamists' wives wear.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/407657736/are-they-allowed-to-wear-denim.html
Overheard by: a. lil
Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
Coffee shop girl: A pig is, like, a monkey's best friend.
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: Evan
Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins
Twelve-year-old boy in lunch line: So I think I have a new arch-nemesis… He's like, Canadian, or something.
Friend: Cool!
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
Bride-to-be: Oh my god! I'm totally getting wedding-day head!
Friend: Oooh! Is that like before the ceremony or after?
Bride-to-be: Huh?
Groomsman: Does the groom get some head too?
Friend: Hell no! That shit stops once they're married!
Bride-to-be: What? Oh my god, you guys! I meant I'm getting nervous!
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1 to guy: Oh, shut up! Be nice to me! I'm marrying your brother! Which means I'm gonna be like your sister!
Girl #2 to guy: Which means you won't be able to have sex with her anymore!
Chicago, Illinois
Drunk girl stumbling outside bar, dropping purse and chasing after boyfriend: You are the ruiner of fun.
Provincetown, Massachusetts
Awkward guy: Hey, so remember when we were walking together yesterday?
Uncomfortable girl: Yeah.
Awkward guy: So my friend was all “who was that big-tittied girl you were walking with?”
Uncomfortable girl: Alright, then.
High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
Hot gay guy: My boyfriend won't let me watch porn that doesn't have a story.
Sympathetic gay friend: Poor baby.
Hot gay guy: All porn is acting… Intense acting.
New Haven, Connecticut
