Bride-to-be: Oh my god! I'm totally getting wedding-day head!
Friend: Oooh! Is that like before the ceremony or after?
Bride-to-be: Huh?
Groomsman: Does the groom get some head too?
Friend: Hell no! That shit stops once they're married!
Bride-to-be: What? Oh my god, you guys! I meant I'm getting nervous!
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1 to guy: Oh, shut up! Be nice to me! I'm marrying your brother! Which means I'm gonna be like your sister!
Girl #2 to guy: Which means you won't be able to have sex with her anymore!
Chicago, Illinois
Drunk girl stumbling outside bar, dropping purse and chasing after boyfriend: You are the ruiner of fun.
Provincetown, Massachusetts
Awkward guy: Hey, so remember when we were walking together yesterday?
Uncomfortable girl: Yeah.
Awkward guy: So my friend was all “who was that big-tittied girl you were walking with?”
Uncomfortable girl: Alright, then.
High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
Hot gay guy: My boyfriend won't let me watch porn that doesn't have a story.
Sympathetic gay friend: Poor baby.
Hot gay guy: All porn is acting… Intense acting.
New Haven, Connecticut
Girl on cell: She feels Facebook ruined their relationship.
Bus
Malmö
Sweden
Woman on cell: You know she's only talkin' to him cause he's got a tractor in the tractor pull.
Culpeper, Virginia
Sad girl: So we broke up and I started crying, and I told him to leave and he was like “can we still watch Star Wars?”
Short haired girl: It's not even that good a movie!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amused
Home girl #1: Ay, foo, I thought I was pregnant!
Home girl #2: Oh, nahh!
Home girl #1: Yeah! Junior was all “Ay, you got your period yet or what?” and I was all “no, why?” and he goes “because I was tryn' to get you pregnant!” Chhh! Crazy huh?
CSULA Cafeteria
California
Overheard by: Itshahaholly
Stoner #1: Hey, have you seen Jim* lately?
Stoner #2: No, man, I don't hang out with him no more.
Stoner #3: Why not?
Stoner #2: He kept stealing my Skittles!
Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
