Relationships

Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins

Twelve-year-old boy in lunch line: So I think I have a new arch-nemesis… He's like, Canadian, or something.
Friend: Cool!

Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island

Bride-to-be: Oh my god! I'm totally getting wedding-day head!
Friend: Oooh! Is that like before the ceremony or after?
Bride-to-be: Huh?
Groomsman: Does the groom get some head too?
Friend: Hell no! That shit stops once they're married!
Bride-to-be: What? Oh my god, you guys! I meant I'm getting nervous!

Chicago, Illinois

Girl #1 to guy: Oh, shut up! Be nice to me! I'm marrying your brother! Which means I'm gonna be like your sister!
Girl #2 to guy: Which means you won't be able to have sex with her anymore!

Chicago, Illinois

Drunk girl stumbling outside bar, dropping purse and chasing after boyfriend: You are the ruiner of fun.

Provincetown, Massachusetts

Awkward guy: Hey, so remember when we were walking together yesterday?
Uncomfortable girl: Yeah.
Awkward guy: So my friend was all “who was that big-tittied girl you were walking with?”
Uncomfortable girl: Alright, then.

High School
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Sarah

Hot gay guy: My boyfriend won't let me watch porn that doesn't have a story.
Sympathetic gay friend: Poor baby.
Hot gay guy: All porn is acting… Intense acting.

New Haven, Connecticut

Girl on cell: She feels Facebook ruined their relationship.

Bus
Malmö
Sweden

Woman on cell: You know she's only talkin' to him cause he's got a tractor in the tractor pull.

Culpeper, Virginia

Sad girl: So we broke up and I started crying, and I told him to leave and he was like “can we still watch Star Wars?”
Short haired girl: It's not even that good a movie!

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Amused