School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Intellectual: No, they believe that a guy flew a 747 through space, dumped a bunch of frozen souls in a volcano, and they escaped and are possessing mankind.

Chino High School
Chino, California

Student, talking about Marxism and class struggle: Above ground, it's really nice, and there are buildings and cars, so that's the bourgeoisie. And underground is the proletariat, because it's messy, and it's basically just…dirt.
(class nods in silent awe).

High School
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: embarassed to be here

Substitute teacher to class: I have a theory that everything in the world is derived from grilled cheese sandwiches.
Student: What about things made out of meat? You know, like animals and people?
Substitute teacher: That's where my theory ends.

High School, Missouri

Overheard by: can's wait to graduate

Pregnant teen waiting in lunch line: Yeah, I'm having the shower at my grandma's. My mom said she did not send me to that fancy Catholic school just so I could get knocked up.

Publis High School
Cincinnati, Ohio

Girl #1: He keeps calling me a slut whenever I see him, and I'm like “what the hell?”, you know?
Girl #2: You should say something back.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I don't know what.
Girl #2: Oh! Let me help you, I'm good with comebacks! You should say, “well, at least I… (long pause) …look like a cookie.”

High School Bathroom
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Meghan

Serious philosophy teacher: Captain Crunch has been raped.

High School
Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: clementine

Teacher: What were people in the ’50s basically concerned with?
Stoner kid: … Scoring?

Lincoln-Way High School
Illinois

Overheard by: Sally

Bimbette #1: Hey, ummm, how do I get my files out of the computer?
Bimbette #2: Wait… The computers are also filing cabinets?! No, wait — I don’t think they are…
Bimbette #1: But isn’t that where we get the papers?
Bimbette #2: What?
Bimbette #1: What?

Honesdale High School
Honesdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alex Lepro

Redhead chick: Oh my god, the school year’s almost over!
Greek girl: Yeah! I’m gonna miss all the good times we’ve had!
Redhead chick: Yeah, like the time I woke up and there was a bear in my bed growling at me, and you laughed.
Greek girl: Oh, yeah, and all the one night stands! [Girls sigh.]

Upstate New York high school
New York

Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there’s another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!

Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California