But With Bottled Water

Male college student, about 30-town boil water order: I feel like I'm in Mad Max!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Jean

Posted on July 18, 2010
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Massachusetts, Movies, Students

I Just Barely Care About People

Philosophy student #1, about biomedical ethics: Yeah, we just don't know enough yet to go around screwing with genetic manipulation. Like, cloning people. That creeps me out.
Philosophy student #2: That sheep they cloned, Dolly. She died recently, didn't she? She was like five or six years old.
Philosophy student #1: Yeah. I don't think she lived very long.
Philosophy student #2: What's an average sheep lifespan?
Philosophy student #1, in defensive tone of voice: I don't know! I don't care about sheep!

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on June 24, 2010
Age and ageing, Animals, Canadia, Death & dying, Philosophy, Science, Students

The Final Solution to the School Year

Enthusiastic teacher: We're doing a scavenger hunt today!
Student, dubiously: A scavenger hunt?
Enthusiastic teacher, nodding: Yeah, it's like … It's like a Nazi Easter egg hunt.

North Carolina

Posted on June 15, 2010
Animals, Compare and contrast, History, North Carolina, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Close Enough.

Female student: It's a Wonderful Life… That's the one about the Holocaust, right?

Clarksville, Maryland

Overheard by: Jimmy Steward played Hitler

Posted on June 14, 2010
History, Maryland, Movies, Questions, Students, Stupidity

Only If They Don't Squeak

Student: Is it okay to wear leather trousers to a funeral?

Hull University
Hull
England

Posted on June 4, 2010
Clothing, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Etiquette, Students, UK

But I Didn't Back Up Over It. That's Gay.

English major #1: So, I totally ran over a snake today.
English major #2: Was it an anaconda?
English major #1: I don't know… It was a snake!
English major #3: Was it a grass snake?
English major #2: Was it a trouser snake?
English major #1: Yes. I ran over a penis.

Southern Illinois University
Edwardsville, Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on June 2, 2010
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Penis, Students

Internet Audiences Loved Two Girls, One Copy

Teacher: Please staple again. Please, if there is a god, staple again. Do it! Staple! Push it down hard! I want to hear you staple!

Middle School
North Carolina

Posted on June 2, 2010
God, North Carolina, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

Kirk Cameron: “No.”

Student in library: Could you forget that Jesus died for your sins for like five minutes?

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Posted on May 24, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Jesus, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Students

Your Editors Are a Bit Worried About the Lard

Culinary student #1: I could really go for some duck stuffed with foie.
Culinary student #2: And lard? And berries? (pause) I'll masturbate to that tonight. I hate you!
Culinary student #1, defensively: I live with you, I know your poultry!

Stockholm
Sweden

Posted on May 24, 2010
Food, Gripes, Masturbation, Students, Sweden

This Is Long Island, Bitch!

Composition professor: So, by the way, this is how your do the top of the paper–title, dash, name, just like this paper here. I don't want a four-page paper which is three and a half pages long, with a half-page heading.
Student: But it's standard MLA citation practice for that heading to be like that.
Professor: Fuck MLA.

Hofstra University
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I hate MLA

Posted on May 5, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Education, Insults, New York, Students, Teachers

Students

Close Enough.