Do They Count If You Have to Blow Them Up?

Music history professor: Darwin says that the sole purpose for living things is to survive and procreate. What about us, as musicians? Do we need music to survive and procreate? Well, some people believe that music was created as a sort of mating call. Compare the reproductive life of Jimi Hendrix to the reproductive life of… well, me.
Class: Um…
Music history professor: Well, clearly I win hands-down because of all my groupies.

1 East Mount Vernon Place
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: stravinsky

Posted on December 27, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Maryland, Music, Science, Sex, Students, Teachers

The Angel of Midterms Spares Jared

Professor: I’ve decided to move the midterm to next week, because apparently we are missing a substantial amount of Jews.
Student to friend: Holy crap! Passover just saved my ass!

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: BECKEKE

Posted on December 15, 2019
Holidays, Maryland, Students, Teachers

We’re Hoping She’ll Grow Out of That Once She Turns Five

Middle-aged professor, matter-of-factly: My daughter loves Stephen Colbert. She calls him her ‘baby daddy.’

Art League School
Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on December 14, 2019
Default, Kids, Moms, Names, Teachers, TV shows, Virginia

Have You Considered an Air Purifier?

Geology professor, after sneezing: It's all these trees outside having all of this unprotected sex.
Student: We're just caught in the crossfire.
Geology professor: Exactly. You should see the stains on my car!

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on December 10, 2019
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Sex, Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Math professor, taking baby steps across the front of the room: Infinity is waaay over there. It's gonna take me awhile to get there.

Southern Methodist University
Taos, New Mexico

Posted on December 5, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, New Mexico, Teachers, Weirdness

The Spontaneous Admission to Grad School Is Just a Myth

Philosophy professor: He chose this example because it had sex appeal. It turned people on.
(changes PowerPoint slide to picture of bacterial flagellum)
Male student: Ohhhhh!
Professor: Please don't have an orgasm in my class.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 28, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Education, Orgasm, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Students, Teachers

It Bounced Back and Totally Kicked My Ass at Beer Pong

Criminal justice professor: Babies are hard. I almost had one die on me. It was pure luck it survived.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/next-time-go-with-glad-instead-of.html

Overheard by: citycat

Posted on November 27, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Gripes, Kids, Overheard in Law School, Teachers

The “X-Wing” Is a Favorite of Mine

Second year student: So, what do you do when your potential client is not being straight with you?
Professor: If you can’t get at them frontally, get at them sideways.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: bootstraps