The Day Bernice Wet Her Desk

Professor, eyeing student in class: Watch out, snuggie-girl. I'm on to you!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on April 26, 2010
Education, Louisiana, Teachers, Weirdness

Though Usually I'm Being Flogged at the Time

Student to teacher who just made a mistake finger-spelling on board: Finger!
Teacher, erasing board: If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me.

Hampden, Maine

Posted on April 21, 2010
Body parts, Education, Maine, Masturbation, Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

You Were Number Six!

Sex-ed teacher: This 16-year-old girl had nine partners.
Kid in the back: I want to be number ten!

Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 18, 2010
Comebacks, Florida, Kids, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Teachers

…So Everyone Got That Wrong on the Quiz.

Professor: To shake hands you have to make sure the wedge of your hand fits in the other person's wedge, and that your skin touches, and then give it a good two or three pumps.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on April 15, 2010
Canadia, Education, Hands, Stupidity, Teachers

When Camel Toe Becomes Hammer Toe

Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!

Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 14, 2010
Class, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Florida, Teachers, Vagina, Violence

Peristalsis? Beyonce? Linoleum?

Teacher: Okay. Quick review: which Greek gods did we cover on Friday?
Student, seriously: Hermaphrodite? Herpes? Asbestos?

High School
Michigan

Posted on March 19, 2010
Education, Maladies, Michigan, Names, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teachers

Whether Real or Imaginary

Professor: It's like trying to make a deity out of a bottle of Stoli at the height of the cold war.
Class: (laughter)
Professor: I know plenty of people who've done that, by the way… And so do you.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota