Chica #1: Here's your apron.
Chica #2: Oh! I'm going to be such a ho' tonight!
Sugar Land, Texas
Chica #1: Here's your apron.
Chica #2: Oh! I'm going to be such a ho' tonight!
Sugar Land, Texas
20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.
Bus
Dallas, Texas
Man #1: Hey, are those bathrooms?
Man #2: No…that's art.
Discovery Green Park
Houston, Texas
Girl: She wasn't flashing us! Her boob was hanging out. He was in shock. I think it was the first time he ever saw a boob in real life.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Dude #1: I heard they were trying to get The Beach Boys for that motorcycle rally.
Dude #2: Man, that really says a lot about who is riding motorcycles these days. And it’s not good.
Lone Star Floathouse & Grill
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: D2
Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]
High School
Austin, Texas
Guy: Wait, Langston Hughes was gay? Damn, now I gotta take him off my Facebook.
Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Dude #1: So then I was like, “take that back, you bitch!”
Dude #2: Whoa man, then what happened?
Dude #1: She bent over, and then it hit her that I wasn't trying to bone her doggy style. I dumped her two minutes later.
Dude #2: Haha, yeah! That's my sister for you!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Stephanie C.
Chick in hall: Guess what? I’m pregnant.
Friend: Oh.
Chick: Yeah. Wanna study tonight?
Arlington High School
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: tina
