Sorority girl #1: Are you gonna go?
Sorority girl #2: Like, I don't know. Like, I think I'm gonna go.
Sorority girl #3: Like, I think I'm gonna go, but like I don't know yet.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, like after I came back from Vegas, I gained some weight, so like I took Adderall for like two days!
UT
Austin, Texas
Girl: Well, if he's okay with handicapped, he'll be okay with crazy.
El Paso, Texas
Chica #1: Here's your apron.
Chica #2: Oh! I'm going to be such a ho' tonight!
Sugar Land, Texas
20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.
Bus
Dallas, Texas
Man #1: Hey, are those bathrooms?
Man #2: No…that's art.
Discovery Green Park
Houston, Texas
Girl: She wasn't flashing us! Her boob was hanging out. He was in shock. I think it was the first time he ever saw a boob in real life.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Dude #1: I heard they were trying to get The Beach Boys for that motorcycle rally.
Dude #2: Man, that really says a lot about who is riding motorcycles these days. And it’s not good.
Lone Star Floathouse & Grill
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: D2
Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]
High School
Austin, Texas
