Words

Girl to friend wearing a short skirt: Ooooooh girl, if you bend over I could see all your discharge!

Ikea Parking Lot
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: The Rex

Pompous guy: The karmic wrong done to me that day was absorbed by the jacket!

Fremont
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Mickity Mike

Guy #1, walking down sidewalk: I really have to poo.
Guy #2, walking down sidewalk: Speaking of poo, I could use some poontang.
Random girl walking the other way: Oh my goodness!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Alexa

Socially awkward math professor: And now I will attempt to get the same solution using method #2, and if I don't get the same answer, I'm just going to go slit my wrists. (writes on the board for a few minutes, gets a different answer) Well, shit.

University of New Brunswick
New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: yeah, multivariable calculus does that to me, to

Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.

Portland, Oregon

Professor to girl walking into class with a large box: Wow, you have such a big package! (entire class starts laughing) I am so getting fired today.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: miao miao

Teacher to student: See, why can't you be more of a brown noser, like him? (points at another student)
Student: Because I don't like the taste of ass?
(class groans)
Teacher: Don't knock it till you try it.

San Diego, California

College student: I may not know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm not doing.

Decatur, Illinois

Girl #1, with condom on hand: I don't know why men bitch about wearing these.
Girl #2: They say they don't feel “natural.”
Girl #1: Well, neither do my glasses, but I wear them 'cause I need to see.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Cop (in creole): Move along.
Hobo: You don't know me!

Port Louis
Mauritius

Overheard by: Kallay