College guy: This must be a joke. We live in a city called “Cumming,” we have a store called “BJ's,” and a store called “Dick's,” and a “Siemens” water tower.
Cumming, Georgia
Girl #1: No! They separated!
Girl #2: It's okay, they'll end up together eventually.
Girl #1: What? That's like saying “it's okay to be kidnapped, you'll end up with someone eventually!”
Miami, Florida
Guy #1: If I had to pick between icy and creamy, I'd go with a little icy.
Guy #2: I disagree, and let me tell you why.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Girl on cell: Until you are whatever about whatever, then I am all just whatever!
Birmingham, Alabama
Literacy lecturer with thick Russian accent: When you have a guest, you say to them “feel yourself at home.”
Monash University
Australia
College dude to girl: Yeah, so they tagged my penis…
UC Irvine
Irvine, California
Female student to friend in pub: Maybe you've fallen into the “big-nose trap” as well…
University of Portsmouth
England
Overheard by: Charlotte
Game watcher: Well, this is where the Bears turn it on. When the tough get going the going gets tough. (pregnant silence) Well, I guess it's the other way around. I suppose it works either way, right?
Christina's Place
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Shrek
Guy to TA, during archaeology midterm exam: When it says “How did they adapt physically?” does that mean…like…physically?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Man on cell: Behold, Beverly, my codpiece is enormous! Praise be to Jupiter!
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: Freezair
