Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don’t push it.
Flight to New York
Overheard by: Erica Lynn
Archive for the ‘Airports & flights’ Category
The Next Stupid State Referendum
Loudspeaker in airport: Please don’t leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn’t allowed in the airport?
Airport
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Kristina
We’re Storing It Next to Jean-Luc Cousteau’s Cheese Wheel
PA: Paging arriving passenger Juan Sanchez from Mexico City. Please return to gate B4 to retrieve your piñata.
Airport
Charlotte, North Carolina
Unfortunately My Trail Of Breadcrumbs Is Hard to See in the Snow
Pilot over PA, after taxiing to the gate for ten minutes: Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.
Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: they’re not kidding about being the country’s biggest airport
Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off
Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn’t work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!
Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico
No Wonder It’s Spreading So Fast
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don’t squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Which, Incidentally, Is Also the Title Of My Autobiography.
British girl: That being said, I don’t worry about hiccups much, but I do worry about life a lot.
United Flight
Yerevan
Armenia
…and Rent All the Cool Cars
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
This Affair with the Other White Meat Has Gone on Long Enough
Man, pulling out salad on airplane: Now I can get back to what really matters. Chicken.
Flight over Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Nic
The Passengers Could Have Used a Bit More Oxygen
Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?
Airport
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: weary traveler
