Danny DeVito Rehearses for the Next Batman Movie

Waiter in white shirt, black pants and black bow tie (singing): Doot doot doot, penguins walking downtown, doot doot doot, penguins smoking cigarettes…

Spokane, Washington

Posted on December 27, 2008
Animals, Default, Music, Servers, Smoking, Washington

I'm Talking to You, Mary Todd Lincoln

Tour guide: Be sure to stay with the group. The rats are very large and can sense weakness within the herd. (gives hard look to four old women)

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on December 26, 2008
Advice, Animals, Default, Employees, Sensory experiences, Threats, Washington

It Was a Freudian Nip

White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!

Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on December 24, 2008
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Students, Weirdness

Eh, My Sister Does the Same Thing

Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.

University of Mississippi

Posted on December 19, 2008
Advice, Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Masturbation, Mississippi, Teachers, Weirdness

Are Hamburgers Still Okay?

Student: Dogs belong on leashes, not…inside you!

University of Maryland

Overheard by: MD

Posted on December 12, 2008
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Maryland, Students

Even When You've Got Steak at Home, Sometimes You Go Out for a Cheeseburger

Classics professor: Yeah, Zeus liked to turn into animals in order to get some. Hey, I just study it; I don't justify it.

Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on December 12, 2008
Animals, Books, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Religion, Sexuality, Teachers

When He Said “Yes,” You Knew He Was a Terrorist and You Had to Defend Yourself

Girl #1: I love how every time I make a scenario where I'm around Stephen I scream in his face and force him to be sexual with me. Except for that time I rubbed against him in a non-sexual way to cure any illnesses I have.
Girl #2: There was that time you stabbed him in the thigh too.
Girl #1: Really? Why did I do that?
Girl #2: You just wanted to know his dog's name and if he likes pita bread.
Girl #1: Ohhh…yeah.

Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on December 10, 2008
Animals, Default, Food, Girls, Names, North Carolina, Relationships, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

Must…Resist…”Wet Pussy”…Joke…

Guy on phone: What's wrong with taking a shower with the cat?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy

Posted on December 8, 2008
Animals, Default, Douching, Guys, On the phone, Questions, Washington, Weirdness

Meet the Only Guy in Kansas Secure Enough to Say He Doesn't Like Pussy

Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.

Emporia, Kansas

Overheard by: Very Disturbed

Posted on December 2, 2008
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Feelings, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kansas

Your Editors Just Threw Up

Soccer mom #1: I heard once that the reason animals don't live as long as humans is because they come into the world knowing how to love, and we have to learn.
Soccer mom #2: That is so true.

Lee County Humane Society
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Gee

Posted on November 23, 2008
Age and ageing, Alabama, Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Feelings, Moms

Animals