Older woman on phone: There are two dogs having relations on my front yard.
Chief of police: Well, hose them down.
Felton, Delaware
Overheard by: oh dear.
Professor: If you walk into a dark room, you're not going to just step on a cat laying in the middle of the floor.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Nanny to 10-year-old girl: So, who commonly uses Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?
10-year-old girl: Penguins.
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S
Elderly man: Human beings are rats.
Uncomfortable young man: Are you sure about that? Rats seem more…furry.
Elderly man: Human beings are furless rats.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Listening, speechless.
Waiter in white shirt, black pants and black bow tie (singing): Doot doot doot, penguins walking downtown, doot doot doot, penguins smoking cigarettes…
Spokane, Washington
Tour guide: Be sure to stay with the group. The rats are very large and can sense weakness within the herd. (gives hard look to four old women)
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Julia
White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.
University of Mississippi
Student: Dogs belong on leashes, not…inside you!
University of Maryland
Overheard by: MD
Classics professor: Yeah, Zeus liked to turn into animals in order to get some. Hey, I just study it; I don't justify it.
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
