Guy with baby: So, I found out that Ed tried something fairly kinky with Sarah when they got together at our wedding…
Girl: What? What did he try?
Guy with baby: It was fairly kinky…
Girl: Did he try to sodomize her?
Guy with baby: Alright, he did! But he was too drunk… She said it was like a marshmallow. [Turns to baby in baby talk] Wasn’t my cousin a big silly to try to sodomize my roommate when he was in that state? Yes he was! Yes he was!

Dominick’s Restaurant
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Jack

Girl to two guys: So, who has the smaller cock?
Guy #1: Oh, me.
Girl: You can fuck me in the ass.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Doug

Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!

Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren

Girl #1: Ugh, I just got raped by another final.
Girl #2: Seems all you talk about these days is getting sodomized by exams.
Girl #1: Why do you always assume it’s anal?

Girl: My stomach hurts…
Guy: Maybe you should stop having so much butt sex.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Annoyed guy walking with his girlfriend: Whatever… We can do it anally tonight if you want.

Overheard by: Ian

College girl #1: Look, there are two things in this world that I don't believe in: Cannibalism and butt sex.
College girl #2: I'm pretty sure both of those exist…
College girl #1: Yeah, but there is no way that they happen as much as people say they do! I mean, have you ever cannibalized or butt sexed? No, I didn't think so.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: busting a gut

Large chick in group of students: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.

Community College

Drunk girl, very concerned: He's totally going to get fucked in the A! And he has scoliosis, so he's always bent over, so he's definitely going to get fucked in the A!

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Older man: You kids gonna come out and play?
Kid: Play what?
Older man: Cornhole.