If You Have to Tell Her, You’re Doing It Wrong

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on April 23, 2023
Advice, Ass, Backdoor, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Oklahoma, Rednecks, Relationships, Restaurants, Violence

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed

Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I've never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on March 4, 2023
Backdoor, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Missouri, Wishes

Used to Be Carnival Prizes Were Things Like Stuffed Giraffes

Dude: I think I’ll take the bean bag over the butt sex.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/theres-no-way-this-was-taken-out-of.html

Posted on February 17, 2023
Backdoor, Eavesdrop DC, Guys

Wasn't That the Title Of a Judy Blume Book?

Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on January 20, 2023
Advice, Backdoor, New York, Questions

Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug

Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!

Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier

Posted on November 6, 2022
Backdoor, Missouri, Moms, Parenting, Stores

And I Was in the Boy Scouts.

Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.

Austin, Texas

Posted on May 26, 2022
Ass, Backdoor, Bosses, Education, Texas

I Wondered Why She Was So Hairy.

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

Posted on February 1, 2022
Ass, Backdoor, Clothing, Comebacks, Family ties, Frat boy types, Missouri, Questions

He Bought My Sore Anal Cavity a Box of Chocolates the Next Day

Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex… If it’s possible to be sweet about butt sex.

Windermere, Florida

Overheard by: I think that’s entirely possible…

Posted on June 24, 2021
Backdoor, Chicks, Florida

Would’ve Meant More If You’d Had It All with Me

Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: voltaire

Posted on June 3, 2021
Backdoor, Maryland, Queers

Something Tells Me That Wasn’t Actually Random

Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.

530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Caryn

Posted on February 13, 2021
Backdoor, Michigan, Poop, Sorority types

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