Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Substitute teacher, as bird clock chimes on the hour: Is that a real bird, or is that just my drinking problem?
Class: [Silence.]Substitute teacher: … It’s my drinking problem.
Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California
Woman, exiting coffee shop: He's like ten years old, but he's aged really well…
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Minivet
Professor: Fluorine is to chlorine as chlorine is to Kool-Aid. If you inhale chlorine, it burns your nose–you inhale fluorine and it'll eat your face and look for your family.
San Diego State University
San Diego, California
Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club–gettin' drunk? (laughs)
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Mistopher
3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: just a cart pusher
Bimbette, staring at Gay-Straight Alliance meeting sign: Oh my god, the gay thing was *so* five years ago.
Troy High School
Fullerton, California
Man #1, watching rhino: Damn, it's huge.
Man #2: Lucky bastard.
San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nikki
Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.
Southwest Flight over California
Overheard by: Armen
