Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: californiabeaner
Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: californiabeaner
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Girl to friend: I distinctly remember him saying “I still have the dildo up my ass.”
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Didn't that like…burn the colon?
Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god…what happened with that?
Punk guy: I don't know–all I know is that it involved the hospital.
California
Teen boy: Disneyland is the MILF capital of the world!
Vacaville, California
Dumb blonde: Jesus is such a cockblock!
UCLA
California
New girl: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor, annoyed: When it looks like French toast.
University of California-San Diego dining hall
California
Overheard by: blaird
Woman: He's called “The Anal Man.” His ass can bend in 15 different positions. He's a big hit in Europe. (produces rubber toy)
Los Angeles, California
Sobbing child: It’s not fair! That’s mine!
Little bully: So what? Don’t cry about it. You’re being so dumb.
Sobbing child: I’m upset! It’s okay for me to cry sometimes!
Preschool
Santa Barbara, California
Chick: I want to put them in my underwear drawer instead of drinking them.
Monterey, California
