Boyfriend #1: If I go home and find one piece of tranny porn on my computer, I am going to melt all your chocolate-covered pistachios and pour the chocolate down the toilet. I don't know what I'm going to do with the nuts… probably freeze them. I don't know…
Boyfriend #2: That is seriously life-ruining shit. Like a PSA on how tranny porn ruins lives.
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: Koora
Man: Of course, back in the '70s, we didn't have China.
Chino, California
Woman on phone: Girl, I just ate a fat-ass quesadilla, and now I feel fat as fuck.
San Francisco, California
Young thug #1: I'm telling you, man, if they get you for jaywalking or littering down here, they just dismiss it.
Young thug #2: Really?
Young thug #1: Yeah, man, the homeless do it all the time.
Young thug #2: Man…
Young thug #1: I'm telling you. That's why I stay downtown.
Elevator
Los Angeles Superior Court
California
Overheard by: Mylinda
Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Deedle
Girl to friend: You know, you're the kind of person who, if you blew a bubble, I would pop it in your face.
UCLA
Westwood, California
Freshman: My professor just compared Karl Marx to Jesus. I am not feeling it.
Claremont Colleges
Claremont, California
Middle aged gay man on cell: Mother, stop making excuses. You chose to live in a government hellhole named Canada. You could have gone somewhere like Detroit, but nooooo…
Starbucks
Los Angeles, California
Professor: And, as you know, Sweden has the strictest rape laws in America.
UCLA, California
Furious hobo in tie-dye to frightened college student: You know why girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink! God bless you.
Berkeley, California
