Canadia

Hipster guy: Hey guys, this shirt's 100% organic. This shirt's made outta food! (quiet pause)
Hipster guy's friend: That is like, amazing.

Clothing Boutique
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Lauren.

Girl to friend: I really feel like I am in The Matrix right now.

Downtown Toronto
Canadia

Little girl looking at display of puffed wheat snacks: What’s the difference between puffed and fried?
Mom: Puffed is better for you, so you can eat more of them.
Little girl: But I don’t like puffed.
Dad: Puffed is gay.

Crossroads Market
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Laura

10th grade girl: Are munchkins real?
Boy: … You did not just ask that.
10th grade girl: No, really, are they?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: they’re chilling with oompa loompas

Woman to friend: You just lift up your shirt, look down, and there it is.

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: J Menz

Drunk guy: Foreplay? What the fuck is that!?

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: B_friendly

Teacher, on first day of school: So, did anything particularly exciting happen during your vacation?
Loud teenage girl at back of room: I lost my virginity… three times!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Dancing lady, about soca music: Do you like this music?
Five-year-old boy: No, I don’t like music… except Spider-Man music.
Dancing lady: So, you don’t dance?
Five-year-old boy: No… I only dance when I’m naked.

Harbourfront, Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Pandora

Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Woman: You should never kill people, especially if you’re poor!

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: there goes my plan