Canadia

Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: I call Princess Peach!
Amused female employee #1: Be gayer, dude.
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: That was it. I don't think I can get any gayer.
Amused female employee #2: Yeah, he just plateaued.

Ottawa
Canadia

Drunk girl, pointing to apartment across the street: Look! The elevator goes up and down! It's so cool!
Sober girl: Yeah…they tend to do that.
Drunk girl: Shut up! (pause) But this one lights up! Oh, look! There it goes again!

London
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The D.D. for the night

Guy: Dude, he gets so much pussy and he doesn't even want it.

Skytrain
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Arthur

Girl #1: I like socks
Girl #2: Oh! Me too!
Girl #1: Yeah. Sigh–they're like bags for your feet.
Girl #2: Yeah, bags…warm bags.

Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: bitingontinfoil

Blonde: Did you sleep with him?
Brunette: (nods)
Blonde: What!? But you're my virgin friend!
Brunette: I can pretend…

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The Shrew

One-year-old: Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah! (starts whimpering)
Mom: Yeah, it's hard being a baby, isn't it?

Coles Bookstore
Abbotsford, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: girl in line

Freshman girl: Why are we judging her for being crazy?
Freshman friend: Yeah, if we think you're crazy, then you definitely have problems.
Freshman girl: But I'm still pissed at her for taking the good side of the bed.

U of A Campus
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Alex

Teacher scolding student: Do you want a cookie? Do you want a cookie? No, you don't deserve a cookie!

Canadia

Passerby to girl: They cut off my balls and taped them to a fucking pole.

Ottawa
Canadia

Man coming out of feminist art retrospective: So, what did you think of the show?
Woman: Not enough menstrual blood.

Vancouver Art Gallery
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: I would have to agree